Jonathan Elliot

I was born in the spring of 1962 as John Elliot McCurdy, and I always liked my name.  It’s a good, solid, respectable name, so why would I ever change it?

It started in 1997.  I was in the midst of my own Awakening, of discovering who I really am and all the inner and outer turmoil that goes along with that.  I was reading a lot and participating in an online spiritual discussion group, where I discovered (to my surprise) that I had some talent for explaining things in writing, and I started feeling an inner call to write more.

I remember going for a walk one day and pondering what I might write about.  I could see myself writing how-to manuals about spirituality, but what was really turning me on were spiritual stories like Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions by Richard Bach, or The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.  Could I write stories like that?  It didn’t seem very likely, but I could feel the stirring of some long buried and forgotten part of myself that thought maybe I could.

During my walk that day I imagined, what if I did write a spiritual novel?  Suddenly I could see the book in my mind’s eye, but for some reason I simply could not put my name on it.  Surprised, I realized that although John McCurdy would be a fine name to put on a technical manual or a textbook, it simply would not do for the kind of light and fluid story I was imagining.  It just didn’t have the right ring to it, and it felt far too heavy.

“You could use a pseudonym or change your name,” something shouted inside me.  ”People do it all the time.  You could call yourself ‘Jonathan Elliot.’”

I stopped in my tracks.  “Jonathan Elliot?”

“Why not?” the inner voice replied. ”‘Jonathan’ is similar to ’John’ and Elliot is your middle name, so it’s not that much of a change.  But notice how different it feels?  Can you see ‘Jonathan Elliot’ on the front of your novel?”

I could, and I thought about that for awhile.  I liked the ring of it, and the feel, and somehow I could imagine Jonathan Elliot writing a much more interesting story than John McCurdy ever could.  But I was John McCurdy, struggling mightily to learn how to live a whole new kind of life, so it all soon faded into the recesses of my mind.  From time to time that part of me would poke its head out and ask when I was going to start writing, but when I thought about what I might write it all sounded so heavy and tedious that it made me cringe just thinking about it.  So I would send Jonathan Elliot back off to sleep and go on with my life.

Over the next eleven years I learned a lot, and remembered a lot.  I remembered that I am an expression of the Divine and a creator in my own right, and I remembered that even though I did not need to incarnate again I chose to come one more time to remind others that they too are creators, and that they too can change their lives.

A few weeks ago I came down with a cold, which turned into a sinus infection, which knocked me off my feet for nearly three weeks.  It hit me out of the blue with no warning, and brought my life to a seeming standstill.

Now, I’ve learned over the years that these things don’t happen by accident.  When I get sick it’s for one (or both) of two reasons:  Either I’m going through some big inner shift and my body needs to realign itself, or else I’ve forgotten what’s important and have been stressing myself to the point where my body rebels and forces me to rest.

In this case I knew immediately it was the latter.  I had recently taken my lifestyle up a notch by moving into a new house, and in the months since then I had forgotten how I got there and started trying to manifest the extra money I needed through sheer force of will and hard work, instead of from real creatorship.  I realized I had forgotten to live what I know to be true, and as my illness turned into a serious infection I realized I had a choice to make:  I could either start living my truth and doing my real work, or I could leave the planet.

I know who I am and why I’m here.  I am a high consciousness angelic being and I came to Earth at this time for a very specific reason: to assist in the unprecedented expansion of consciousness that is currently taking place, to teach people how to take ownership of their own lives and to help them remember who they are, and also to celebrate the completion of many, many lifetimes on Earth.  I realized it’s time I start living that, instead of just thinking about it.  It’s time for the “Computer Guy” I’ve identified myself as for many years to step aside, and for the teacher to step forward.  I know the material, and I can no longer wait until I get it all right in my own life, for getting it right means allowing myself to actually be who I am.  Nothing in life works right unless we’re doing what we know to do.

As I pondered all this and a dear friend treated me with essential oils and TLC to heal the infection, I came face to face with a problem:  What I have to teach is radical and revolutionary and life-changing.  Much of it is new material that hasn’t been available until recently, and some of it turns even the most sacred doctrines of the New Age upside down.  And John McCurdy has a problem with that.

John McCurdy has been a “good boy” all his life.  He’s been dependable, stable, conservative, and predictable.  (Or at least he’s tried hard to be, but there’s always been that inner drive to expand, to push the limits, to remember and to teach, and that drive has played havoc with his best attempts at respectability.)  John McCurdy has always been the peacemaker, the pleaser, the one who’ll give up almost anything to avert a confrontation or conflict, so how can he possibly go out and teach radical new ideas?  John McCurdy is simply terrified of being a teacher, of taking a stand and saying to the world, “This is who I am and this is what I have to offer.”  And yet, his survival now depends on doing just that.

“So what to do?” I asked myself.

And suddenly that inner voice was shouting again, “Let me do it!  Let me teach!  Let me write!  Let me come out and show you how to lighten up, how to LIVE!  John McCurdy is tired.  He’s done his job well, and he can rest now.  It’s time for me, Jonathan Elliot, to come out and play and to create a new life!”

At first I resisted.  John McCurdy tried to hide in a corner and cried out, “That’s really silly and really scary!” at the same time he was sobbing with relief and gratitude.  He is tired.  He’s come a long, long way in this lifetime, and he needs to rest.  The aspect of me that took the name “Jonathan Elliot” eleven years ago is now ready to come forward, and it’s time to let him.

I talked to a few carefully chosen friends about what I was thinking, and was surprised at their positive reactions.  They could see it in me, and one of them reminded me that some cultures give their people new names several times throughout their lives, in order to better reflect who they are at each stage of life.

So, Jonathan Elliot is born.  He has 46 years of experience and wisdom and baggage to sort through and a new life to create, but somehow I think he’s up to the challenge.  Will he become a famous writer?  Can he actually transform the life of John McCurdy into something brand new?  I don’t know, but I suspect it’ll be fun to find out!

John McCurdy is letting go.  He’s ready to rest, to leave the challenges of life to this new upstart, and to sit back and enjoy the ride.  He’ll always be part of me; his wisdom, his experience, his skills, even the “Computer Guy,” but he is no longer in the driver’s seat of my life.

I Am That I Am, and from this day forward I shall be known on Earth as Jonathan Elliot.